its ours (my theatre journey pt. iii)

(i promise this is the last one)

“there is one place i’ve found where you are never excluded. where they let you in with welcome arms. it’s here. it’s this. it’s you and me and this group of people. it’s ours, and we can’t ever let it die.”

my first last curtain call was…emotional to say the least.

my heart is literally aching at the thought of never doing this again. call me dramatic, but after all, this is drama we’re talking about.

i have laughed more in the past two months than i ever have before. i have found the love of my life in theatre.

this week has truthfully been one of the best weeks i’ve ever experienced.

one last time, to all the people who shaped this production, and in that, my life:

you are awesome. you are amazing. and you will go places.

this musical won’t ever really end. the family that came with it won’t ever separate.

because this is ours.

you welcomed this odd little thing with more love than i ever could have imagined. my happiness at knowing all of you is running down my cheeks right now.

i left a piece of my heart on that stage tonight. but it is so incredibly worth it.

so one last, final time:

“it’s family first
and family last
and family by and by!”

happy sad (my theatre journey pt. i)

two months ago, i walked into the chorus room with shaking hands and no friends.

last night, i ran out onto a stage with with a smile and countless people i call my family. we sang together as we bowed:

“its family first and family last and family by and by!”

as many of you know, since late january, i’ve involved in my high school’s production of the addams family. i never imagined i would end up loving it as much as i have.

in the course of two months, i’ve found myself on a stage. i’ve found people who love me. people who’ll slap me with a makeup brush if i make a joke about being ugly. people who grab my shoulders and whisper encouragement in my ear. people who i can be myself with.

i’ve been told countless times that i lost a bit of the sadness in my eyes.

now you might walk into my home and see me singing and dancing to “when you’re an addams” as dramatically as possible. now you might walk into a theatre and see me laughing with a friend.

last night i got upset and started crying because i realized that after this sunday, there are some seniors who i’m friends with who i may never see again. but one of them reminded me of these lines from one of our songs:

the moment we start weeping,
that’s when we should smile.
in every heaven, you’ll find some hell.
and there’s a welcome in each farewell.
life can be harsh, the future strict
so let’s be happy
forever happy
completely happy
and a tiny bit sad.

i have never had a feeling like the feeling i have when i am doing what i love with these beautiful people. i will miss it more than anyone knows.

so let’s be happy. forever happy. completely happy.

and a tiny bit sad.